In America, general social etiquette is often overlooked, underappreciated, or altogether dispensed with (if indeed it was ever practiced) by most individuals. But before this begins to sound as if I am bemoaning modernity or the state of the youth in my country of birth, or criticizing millennials for their lack of appreciation for tradition, allow me to elaborate.

Of course, when I write here that etiquette is not learned often enough, nor practiced at enough events, that is not to imply that etiquette in the strictest possible sense, is dead. That would be silly. As a set of requirements or conventions expected of an individual while engaged in a particular behavior or while surrounded by particular people (or particular people, as the case may be), etiquette is everywhere expected of us. At the bank, at school, at the grocers, in bed…everywhere.

But these types of expectations and conventions can more or less be classified under the heading of schema, or programming, rather than under the more formal definition of etiquette. Colloquially, I was raised to understand that etiquette is a deliberate, intentional implementation of a specific, socially applicable knowledge base. It is an all-encompassing, rigid, though not stiflingly so, cohesive architecture within which one may find places for all one’s manners and communal affectations.

Etiquette is at once continuity and uniquity. It provides context and structure, but may also set one apart from others who haven’t distinguished themselves in this particular art. Although, it should be noted, that my impressions of the practice of etiquette, as with most knowledge bases, is that one should not learn of it and practice it well in order to become superior to one’s fellows; rather, one should become excellent in this practice so that one may be of better service to one’s neighbors. To be more deliberate and intentional, more sincere and consciousness with those toward whom we wish to display respect and attention.

It’s true that one may do all these things without ever having picked up The New American Etiquette or any other texts constructed of the gossamer filaments of a dead world, but having a sure and solid foundation from which to launch one’s great enterprises in the social world is quite a heartening thing to possess.

Scientia Est Potentia